The Windows of My Soul: #11, #12

Brenda and her first husband married on June 4, 1960 (if I remember correctly). I know hindsight is 20-20, but when I look at these two poems, I wonder. Were the signs of the things to come clear? She didn’t talk much about this, nor did I ask about it. In today’s world, there are known indicators of a potential abuser. Her first husband showed many of these signs, but because of her strict parents, her “Catholic upbringing,” and the culture at the time, she felt she had to marry him, despite the warning signs.

(Note: I don’t place blame on the Catholic Church. A bent nail is not the fault of the hammer or the wood.)

Need (#11)
© Brenda

Why? oh why? Did you leave
when more than ever before in my life
I needed you tonight

Rarely will the time again come
until finally sets my sun
When I will beg you to come

To me, just to me
instead, a friend you’ve gone to see
without understanding, you left me.

May 2, 1960

 

Excuses! (#12)
© Brenda

It’s cold! I’m busy!
You are hurting me! I’m sleepy!
Excuses! Excuses! Excuses!

I love you so much!
I am wanting so much!
Excuses! I make excuses!

I cannot bear your touch!
That’s why I make a fuss!
Excuses! I need excuses!

Only three more days to go!
Time passes so very slow!
Then never again excuses!

June 1, 1960

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