The Windows of My Soul: The Beauty of the Night (#66), The Daisies (#67), Bear With Me (#68)

Here are three more of Brenda’s poems… The third of which is the first reference she makes in her poetry to her vision problems.

At the time, she was diagnosed with histoplasmosis chorioretinitis. Googling this diagnosis gives you a reasonable idea of what she was dealing with. Basically, for those of you who don’t want to do your own research, “histo” is a spore-like fungus that breeds in the dry droppings of birds. It was known to be common to children and older men. Normally, it’s a lung infection that masquerades as a variety of diseases like tuberculosis. In a minority of cases, it migrates to the eyes. The damage it causes is nearly identical to the diabetic retinopathy, in that the blood vessels break, bleed, then heal.

Currently, the only treatment is laser surgery to prevent the spread. Unfortunately, this treatment didn’t exist in 1972. Instead, they used an experimental treatment of injecting cortisone. This has since been proven ineffective. Regular cortisone injections over a long period of time (as Brenda was subjected to) leads to a variety of side effects, many of which she experienced, including the onset of type 2 diabetes.

Oh, and I have no idea who Hilda Jackson was.


The Beauty of the Night (#66)
© Brenda
April 21, 1972
This one is for Hilda Jackson

I love the beauty of the night
The faintly moonlit sky
With clouds of filmy lace adrift
The wind their only tie.

I need the quiet solitude
The sense of being one
With all the rhythms of the world
That beat without the sun.

I raise my arms in wonderment
As all the power in the world
Flows in and through and over me
My flag of faith unfurled.

I meditate upon the stars
While sitting with the moon
I need this peaceful loneliness
The dawn will come so soon.


The Daisies (#67)
© Brenda
May 21, 1972

I love you, dear Jesus
From right here to everywhere
Though my soul lies bare before you
I know you find me fair.

The daisies in the fields
Warmed by the golden sun
They also know they are loved
Though they cannot play and run.


Bear With Me (#68)
© Brenda
May 21, 1972

Please, God, bear with me
Until my eyes are well again
Until my tongue no longer trips
And my thoughts are again my friends.


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